Before I Was A Mom

In the wake of World Breastfeeding Week, I stumbled across a group writing project that asked women to talk about what came before motherhood. Since I write about all things lingerie, this had me thinking about my relationship with my breasts and my bras.

I have to say that my relationship with my body in general was much less friendly before I had kids. While this might seem strange in our youth obsessed culture, I treated my breasts as a kind of liability. After all, they had been known to get me into all kinds of trouble (due to unwanted attention over their size.)

This showed up in a strange habit: I spent as little as possible on bras. I’d invest in expensive suits for work wear, but would buy my bras on sale as quickly as possible. Occasionally, I’d buy something pretty, but I just never really thought much about my bras.

Then, I met and married Mr Right. Mr Right and I decided to start a family.

As a newly pregnant woman, my breasts ached. I needed support like I’d never needed it before. I even needed some support at night. This helped to reinforce that things were not “business as usual”. My first new purchase after getting pregnant were a couple of leisure bras for sleeping.

Then came maternity bras. As my cup size increased, I needed to get bras that would work after baby arrived. I found myself suddenly very interested in my purchase. I checked out fabrics for breathability; I mulled over colors, including wild animal prints. (My husband was very surprised at my new interest in pattern and color but couldn’t have been happier.)

Then, the newborn arrives and your breasts are working for a living. Your maternity bras become nursing bras (if you’ve picked well). Nursing bras have these extra clasps to allow you to drop the cup down and latch your baby on, without taking your bra off. (My husband joked that all bras should be made this way.)

Breastfeeding turns out to be a confidence game. Breasts do not have a gauge that tells me how much milk is there. What I have instead is the more subtle (and more amazing) set of cues that force me to pay attention to both my body and my baby. How did I know that my babies were getting enough? They grew. How did I know that they were hungry? They made hungry noises and wanted to latch. Did I make them wait every 3 hours? No. Humankind wasn’t created with a wristwatch built in and baby stomachs don’t run by clocks either.

In the end, I learned to trust myself - and them.

Breastfeeding brought me to a whole new understanding of my breasts. Why would I support them carefully, without pinching or binding? Because it makes a difference in my health - in some cases, the wrong bra can contribute to mastitis and blocked ducts.

Why buy pretty bras? Because my breasts are worth it.

Before I had children, my breasts were pretty but purely decorative parts of me that created a strange fascination. After I had children, I knew my breasts were life to a baby - and not just food, but love and bonding and a host of chemical reactions in me that helped me be a better mom. (The mothering hormone, oxytocin, is released in breastfeeding. While baby is bonding to mom, mom is bonding right back.)

I’ve passed my nursing days - but I still retain a new respect for the “girls”. When I buy a pretty bra, I make sure it fits properly. I spend the extra to get a quality garment. And I remember that - even though my breasts are now decorative again - they gave me healthy, happy children.